The title of this blog could literally not suit my current situation any better. I honestly don’t know if I broke like a couple mirrors and am currently living out my 8 years of bad luck, or what the deal is..
For those of you who don’t know, I have seizures. We can’t seem to figure out the reason why I get them. There’s no history in my family and nothing abnormal comes back on my scans and tests I get done. That alone if beyond frustrating. Every time I get a seizure, I lose my license my 6 months. Again, beyond frustrating. And to put the cherry, on this already not so pleasant sundae, I have to go on seizure medication which has the most outrageous side effects, including memory loss, speech problems, appetite and personality change and the most ridiculous and vivid dreams.
Though all those things are frustrating and just altogether suck, I constantly remind myself that it could be worse and there are people out there that have it worse than me.
A few nights ago I got in a car accident. It was pretty bad, bad enough that my car is totalled, but luckily I walked away with just burns and bruises. Again after this situation, after I asked myself repeatedly: “Why me?”, I again reminded myself that things could be worse. I could have been more injured, etc etc..
In life, we are given so many trials. We are pushed and pulled and put in situations where we are given the choice to feel bad for ourselves, or make the best out of our situations.
Though I would like to hide away in my bed, and sit in a familiar medicated daze, I am choosing happiness this time. I am choosing to look on the bright side and to surround myself with people who will tell me they miss my smile when it’s not on my face.
I have a phrase that I like to say when I get frustrated and feel hurt: “It’s fine”. And in the moments I usually say this phrase, it isn’t fine, I’m not going to lie. But by saying this phrase, I’m reminding myself that it will be fine again, and by saying this, I am reassuring myself that the hurt I am feeling in that moment will subside, it will go away.
There are no rainbows without rain and by the way, who doesn’t like a good dance in the rain anyway.