Can someone be too nice?

I am such a hypocrite when it comes to some things, and I can call myself out on this, because well, it’s me calling myself out. I am forever telling people to make themselves happy first, to put themselves before others, and then here I am, trying to make sure the entire world has a smile on their faces before myself.

I love making other people happy and putting other people’s needs before my own, but I think I’ve finally realized that some people in life will take advantage of this. Does this mean I should change who I am, or stop doing nice things for people? Not necessarily. I think I need find a happy medium, a balance between making other people happy and making myself happy as well.

I did a huge computer purge last night while working a night shift. I went through my Icloud and deleted unnecessary things like photos and saved messages. I literally had old messages saved from 2014. How crazy is that?

I had messages saved when I had a falling out with my old group of best friends. I had messages from employers, family members, unknown numbers and exes. Going through these messages I noticed a lot of noteworthy things. For example in situations, I am the one who does the majority of the apologizing, even for situations that weren’t my fault. I always took the blame, almost as if to make the other person feel better about themselves, despite at the time it probably made me feel terrible.

With exes, I could physically see myself putting 100% more effort into conversations as I read through the messages. I could sense the disparity through my double texts, one-sided conversations and the continuity of ‘between the lines’ begging for reciprocation of feelings. I deleted these messages one by one as I read them, letting go of past feelings, letting go of past intentions and letting go of any future one-sided relationships.

Moving into this next year, I promise myself to stay true to who I am. I am a very nice person. I like making people smile and putting others before me. I like doing things for others and helping people through tough times, but I promise to not lose my happiness in the mix of life. I promise to not let unworthy people take advantage of my kindness.

This is my champagne year after all. I can’t let it go to waste!

-A

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What To Do When You’re in a Slump

Well hello there,

Welcome to Ashley’s personal pity party, where all those who are down and sad about life are welcome to join. But in all seriousness, I’ve found myself in quite the low spot as of recently. I’m a pretty emotionally influenced person, so when the people around me are stressed and sad, I usually get the same and with the job I’m currently working at, this happens quite frequently. So I’ve decided to share my secrets, tips, and tricks to you all on how I get back on track and back to my normal happy self.

1) To start off if you didn’t already realize, writing is a huge stress relief for me because it gets all those kept inside feelings and thoughts out. I’m the same way with people, if I have something to say, I have to say it otherwise I just drown myself in the unsaid words.

2) I check what I’m eating. As a previous binge eater, I use to hide my feelings in food. When I’m sad I often find myself going back to these roots, but I’m a huge believer in a healthy gut makes a healthy mind. I eat a very clean diet, which makes me feel great. So in moments (like now), I make sure I’m fuelling my body with good foods so I won’t make myself feel guilty about binging out on junk foods.

3) Exercise. This one is major for me. Even just getting outside to go for a walk helps. I will literally lay in bed and dread going to a workout, but I’ll tell you a secret. I never regret going after the workout is done. An exercise of any sort is awesome for getting stress out and increasing the happy chemicals in your brain. I promise you, it might suck going, but after you’ll thank me.

4) Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. This one is extremely important. People’s minds are influenced immensely by the environment. If you’re surrounded by negative influences and people, your emotions will continue to be negative. Being around people who remind you that you’ll make it through this rough patch is critical. I’m grateful for my amazing friends every day.

5) Get to the root of your slump or sad feelings. Figure out why you got to this low point. Is it a negative relationship, money, school or anything else? Pin point it, and figure out what you can change. If you’re stuck in a bad relationship, either try and fix it or get the heck out. Don’t waste your time with a person who doesn’t deserve you. If you’re having money issues, take a step back and figure out where you could be spending your money smarter. If you’re not enjoying what you’re studying in school, stop right now and find your passion. Don’t let people pressure or convince you that there’s only one path in life.

6) This one is probably super cheesy, but I love looking up motivational quotes and pictures. Tumblr is my BFF. I find it so peaceful to read through motivating and relatable quotes. (You can make fun of me if you want!)

7) Think about all the positive things you have going for you. Make a list even. Think about all the positive attributes and qualities you have that people love about you. I don’t care if this sounds self-centered or self-absorbed. If you’re feeling down and you have no one there to tell you you’re awesome, tell yourself that! You, my friend, (whoever is reading this), are awesome, you make a difference in this world and without you here many people would be affected.

8) Music. This is another great one. Find the cheesiest, sing-a-long music you can think of and blast it. Throw yourself a dance party. I have two moods. I will either play my favourite pop songs (“Nothing’s Holding Me Back”, BANGER) and drive around pretending I’m a rock star, or I’ll play super depressing stuff and sit in my car and have a good cry. Both are very effective, but I personally suggest the pop star dance party.

9) Take a nap. I work four jobs, plus do a billion things on the side. Sleep isn’t something I always get enough of, so when I start getting anxious and sad, I try getting in a quick re-start nap. This one doesn’t always help me 100% of the time, but a little bit of beauty sleep never hurt anyone!

10) Give someone you love a hug. It can be a friend, parent, sibling, spouse, I don’t care. Find someone who cares about you, and give them the tightest hug. It always helps me.

11) **bonus Do something nice for someone else. This one is great. Not only will you feel great about yourself, but you’ll make someone else’s day better too. Examples of things you can do: buy the person’s coffee behind you in line, tell someone you like something they’re wearing or even just tell someone they look nice today. Making someone else smile will guarantee to make you smile too!

Love always.

-A

Opinions

I read a quote the other day, and it talked about the need for alone time. The need to be by one’s self to refresh, digest and formulate opinions. In our society, we are constantly influenced by those around us, even when we think we aren’t. People’s opinions are constantly filling our heads through social media forms like, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, also through news sources on television and in the news paper and then there’s also advertisements that are pushed in front of our faces all the time. Everywhere we look, people are trying to convince us to think, act, and be a certain way.

Now more than ever alone time crucial to build our own thoughts and opinions. In this society, do you think it’s possible to build our own opinions without being influenced by those around us? With our cellphones being glued to our hands and thoughts always being pushed into our heads, the thought of unbiased opinions sounds like a hard concept to grasp.

I believe that in life there is never just one way to look at something, even though sometimes our society tries to convince us otherwise. I challenge each of you to form your own opinions on things. If something doesn’t seem right or correct to you, dare to think outside of the box. Sit in silence every once in a while. Let your thoughts form on their own. Decide if  you agree or disagree with what is being taught and told to you. It’s people in this world that choose to create their own ideas. thoughts and opinions that make a difference.  Remember though, to be open to all the opinions around you as well. If you are expecting people to be willing and open to your opinions, then you must treat their’s the same.

Have a great weekend loves!

Ash

 

Happy One Year to US!

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I can’t believe that I started this small blog a year ago already.

I got the inspiration from my friend, Brittany Lauren.  She has the most wonderful fashion/lifestyle blog that you should definitely check out if you’re into that style of blogging. 

I didn’t know what I wanted to do with this blog, or where I wanted to take it, I just knew I wanted it to be real.  I wanted other twenty-somethings to know that the struggles they are going through, or the emotions they are feeling, are perfectly fine and they’re not the only ones going through them. I originally wanted to write this as an anonymous blog, because I was scared of the backlash I might get on my opinions and thoughts on certain things. Turns out either 1) people don’t care as much I thought, 2) my opinions really aren’t as crazy as I thought, or 3) not as many people read my blog as I like to convince myself do. haha

It’s funny how much peace this blog has brought me, which I never thought would happen. So many wonderful people have reached out to me, a couple doors have been opened and better yet, I might have even helped a few people. If I’ve learnt anything in my twenty-whatever years of life, people love to know they are not alone. People love to find someone or something they can relate to and even if there’s only one person who feels that way about something I’ve posted or written, at least I’ve helped that one person.

I am a work in progress, just like all of you are and none of us are alone in our thoughts or battles.

Cheers to one year, and hopefully more to come! Thank you for all who follow me on my journey or who have reached out to me. You are the ones that keep my smile bright!

🙂

Lastly, I just wanted to share some of my personal favourite posts from the past year and some of my most viewed ones:
M.I.A.
Time
Piece by piece..
Interview with an 11th Grader
Understand Us
Social Media or Social Suicide?
Waves
25 THINGS I’VE LEARNT IN MY 25 YEARS 🙂

-A