Critiquing the Critiquers

Every single thing that happens in your life, shapes the person you are. Every person that comes into your life, every person that leaves your life and all the people and experiences in between.
I am not going to lie. I am the kind of person who over thinks and over analyzes every. single. situation. If a person looks at me the wrong way, my mind tells me they don’t like me. If someone doesn’t give me the check of approval, I must have done something wrong. As simple as someone not answering a text message, makes my mind work in over drive.
In saying this, every person that comes into my life and for some reason leaves, I take that onto myself and I take it very personally. Lost friendships, past relationships, I carry those things with me, often for far too long. I am not the kind of person that can easily forget things. I still over think experiences from elementary school. Like what?! Who does that?
While on Tumblr last night I reposted this quote that said:

“If someone treats you badly recognize that there is something wrong with them, not you. Normal people do not go around destroying other people.”

I immediately thought of a list of people I could send that too. All the people that made me focus on my flaws as negative things instead of beautiful things, all the people who have tried to change me along my path of life and to anyone who ever made me doubt myself or doubt my dreams.
After reposting this quote, I saw this one:

“It was a privilege to love you, and it was a privilege to let you go. Both helped shape me into the person I have become.”

I realized that the people in my past, though they may have hurt me, or broken my heart, they shaped me into the person I am. My chubby cheeks that one person may have criticized once, is something that another person loves about me. I am stronger because of the people and experiences of my past. They didn’t hold me down, or damper my worth. They lifted me up and made me realize how thankful I am for my flaws that make me different than the person next to me.
I think when you come to this realization, is when you can finally be happy. People will never stop criticizing you throughout your life, but we are all capable of moving past these criticisms and loving yourselves as we are. Make sure to surround yourself with people who view your flaws as beauty and lift you up when the criticisms from the world become too much for you to carry alone.

ox
Ash

Wanderlust: Central America

I just want simplicity. I am done with playing mind games.
If you like me, tell me.
If you enjoy my company, spend time with me.
I am not looking for a fairytale romance.
I just want companionship. Someone who will ask me how my day was, and console me when it didn’t go how I expected it to.
I want someone to challenge me in my wrongs, and help me find a way of making the wrongs into rights.
I want a best friend to share and make memories with.
To find common goals, passions and dreams with.

It’s hard to keep telling yourself that there’s is someone out there when the thought of a person is always in your mind. I know in the end it will be worth it. I just need to keep reminding myself of this.

Meeting of the Souls

I use to believe in soulmates. That there was one person for everyone in the world, and when you met this person you would just know. You would have one of those movie moments, where the world stops moving, your heart stops beating and you momentarily forget how to breathe. It’s funny because I can pick out these moments for certain people from my past. The moment where we each met and had a movie like “meet-cute” (if you know the movie I’m quoting, we can definitely be best friends haha).
I no longer believe that everyone has just one soulmate in the world. I think we all have multiple ones and surrounding factors, efforts and timing all determine whether or not certain soulmates end up being the one.
Love isn’t easy and it isn’t all about fairy tale endings. In love you have to work your butt off to make it work. You have to love yourself first, but also be willing to make many sacrifices. Love is about giving and taking, and fighting to keep a balance between the two.

I love being in love, I love falling in love, but let me tell you, there is no worse feeling than the feeling of giving too much of yourself and not getting enough in return.

After this past year, I have learned so much about what I want in life, for myself and within my future soulmate. I want someone who constantly challenges me to be the best version of myself, I want someone who will point out my wrongs, but also someone who will help me turn them into rights. I know God has someone for me, and I am constantly reminding myself that He will show him to me at the right time.

I pray that you all find the kind of love you deserve and settle for nothing less than that. 🙂