I was scrolling through Instagram this morning (which is my morning ritual to help me wake myself up). I came across one of my favourite poet’s account, R.H.Sin, and noticed that he had responded to a follower’s comment. This follower asked: “Is loving someone a decision or a feeling? In your personal opinion.”.
Right away this question intrigued me and I was excited to see what one of my favourite authors thought. He started by answering the questioning how I thought he would, he said: “I think you decide who has the opportunity to be loved by you.”
I love this answer. If someone were to ask me, my answer would be that loving someone is a feeling, but Sin’s answer puts a lot into perspective.
He continues by saying: “Think about it, logically, when you choose to entertain some sort of relationship with someone, you’re making the decision to let them in close enough to be loved by you.”
Wow. Preach RH Sin, PREACH.
I needed to hear this in this very moment. I sat there and realized a lot about my most recent situation. I was in control of letting this person mistreat me. I was in control of allowing myself continually give and not get anything in return. Yes, of course it’s easy for me to sit pouting and pointing fingers at this individual, but in reality, I am giving them the opportunity to mistreat me.
Sin ends by saying: “People have to ask themselves what they base their love for someone on and at the end of the day… good or bad, people make the decision whether or not they believe a person is worth falling for and sometimes they’re wrong, it happens. It’s all a lesson to be learned.”
I have made the mistake of believing a person is worth falling for (more than once if I’m being honest) but I tend to be quick to blame the other person. I am very guilty of blame shifting.
Did I deserve to be mistreated? No. But, did I have the control to walk away from the situation when I realized it wasn’t benefitting me? Absolutely.
This individual is not a bad person, but he certainly isn’t acting like a great man or even friend towards me at this point.
Walking away from someone or a situation isn’t always easy. But staying with someone because they make you feel good for simultaneous moments isn’t good or healthy either.
Someone told me the other day, that they would rather be hurt by the truth, than heartbroken over a lie.
I would rather feel lonely for a little while, than being left feeling empty by another person.