Piercings and Tattoos

So I’m not sure if anyone else out there love piercing and tattoo youtube videos, but I personally do. I love knowing what piercings and tattoos other people have and their experience getting them. I have a have a decent amount of both. I always joke when people ask me how many piercings I have that I got an absurd amount of piercings because to rebel against my parents at 16, that’s all I could really do.

Hmm where should we start.. Let’s do tattoos first.

Tattoos:

  1. Three connected circles on my foot:
    I got this one in Mexico, with my three Mexican wives (that’s what we called each other). For those of you reading this and didn’t know, I lived in Mexico for a year, dancing at a resort. I met two other girls I worked with for a short time and we immediately built a strong connection and decided to get this tattoo to remember each other and the fun we had.
  2. ‘Siempre’ on my left hand:
    I got this tattoo for my sister to represent she’s ‘always’ with me, which is what the Spanish siempre means (always). I also got this one in Mexico.
  3. Infinity sign on the back of my neck:
    My best friend at the time and I got this tattoo in Amsterdam while we were travelling Europe. This tattoo is small, but is probably one I would get removed in the future.
  4. ‘WILD’ on my lip:
    Yep. I have a lip tattoo that says ‘wild’. I got this in the Gili Islands in Indonesia with an amazing Swedish girl I met. We were equally as spontaneous, and I ended up with a lip tattoo and she got a large feather on her arm. AND no, I was not drunk or high. I was completely sober.
  5. Anchor on my right wrist:
    I do not like this tattoo. For 1) after I got it, an anchor tattoo became very popular so now everyone and their dog has one. 2) When I got it touched up, the tattoo artist made is super thick, and it stands out way too much on my super white wrist skin (personal opinion). I would love to get this tattoo removed one day. I got this tattoo in Thailand, with an ex-boyfriend. The day after I got it I fell down a waterfall and messed it up. Learn from me. Don’t get a tattoo, then climb a waterfall.
  6. Enso symbol on my left forearm:
    I got this tattoo on my old self-harming scars. An Enso can mean something different to everyone but to me, it is a Buddhism symbol that represents my journey of life and the acceptance of imperfections within my journey.
  7. ‘Vivir libre. Vivir feliz’ on the side of my left foot:
    I got this tattoo at the end of my Central American solo trip in Panama City. The phrase means: Live free. Live happy. A friend that I danced in Mexico with always said this. I loved the way he lived and the way he saw life and this phrase is still important to me 10 years after I’ve been home from Mexico.
  8. An arrow on my right ankle:
    I got this tattoo with a past best friend of mine. We are both Sagittarius’, and an arrow is a symbol of the horoscope sign. We also both liked the phrase: “An Arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back, it means that it is going to launch you into something great.” Though we are no longer best friends, this tattoo still means a lot to me.

 

Piercings:

Like I mentioned in my short disclaimer, I have A LOT of piercings and all but one of them are on/in my ears. OOO Ashley you’re so rebellious (but my parents were actually mad at me for getting all of them).

  1.  Earlobes:
    I have my ear lobes pierced twice on my left ear lobe and three times on my right. I pierced my third hole myself. Pain tolerance literally a 1/10.
  2. Tragus:
    I got this done on my left ear. This one hurt (7/10) and got super infected. I’m pretty sure the piercer used too small of jewelry. **MAKE SURE YOU GO TO AN EXPERIENCED PIERCER!!
  3. Rook:
    I got this in my right ear. This one wasn’t too bad in regards to pain level (6/10) and I also went to a way better piercing place, which probably helped in both the pain level and healing time. BUT, I would like to mention with this piercing I noticed it made my ear stick out further than the ear that I don’t have this piercing on.
  4. Helix:
    The helix was very similar to the rook, but less pain (4.5/10). This one I have on my left ear. It healed fast and I have had no issue with it.
  5. Auricle:
    I have a double auricle piercing on my left ear. I got the piercings done at different times and I found this piercing to be quite painful (7/10). I also have found this one to take a little longer to heal than some of my other ear piercings, probably similar to my tragus (minus the infection). The first auricle I got pierced I got a hoop and the second I got with a barbell. I liked the hoop way better. I find the barbell gets stuck and caught a lot, which is probably adding to the healing time.
  6. Conch:
    Oh man. I got this piercing on my right ear and I love it.. NOW. This one hurts (8.5/10). I mean if you grab your ear and pinch you can already get the vibe that this one would be painful. It also takes a long time to heal and actually still hurts years after I’ve gotten it pierced. Still worth it though because it is one of my favourite piercings.
  7. Nipple:
    This is my newest piercing, some would say a quarter life crisis, I might say they’re right. I have been back and forth about this piercing for a while, but I finally found someone to get it with that gave me the extra push. Now, I did endless research on this. I have extremely sensitive nipples to the point that if my shirt brushes me the right way I get turned on, so I did not want anything to go wrong. We went to a good and experienced piercer and made sure to ask a billion questions. So.. when people tell you this piercing hurts, they are NOT lying. I have a high pain tolerance, but wowza, this baby hurt (9/9/10). It hurt quite a bit for a few days later. I found normal wired bras to be the best because I usually wear sport bras and they were too tight. I recently caught the piercing on my deodorant (not even sure how this is possible) and I literally thought I ripped my nipple off. I have heard that piercing your nipple can desensitize it, but that definitely did not happen for me, my nipple is more sensitive now. One thing I would have liked to know is that you will permanently have PN (perky nipple), and since I only got one nipple done it probably looks a little odd. But overall I love it and I’m excited for it to be healed so I can put different jewelry in.
  8. I had my nose pierced (twice), but I don’t wear anything in it anymore. I was super young when I originally got it done and loved it, but I took it out because I thought it brought too much attention to my nose which I didn’t like. I had it out for a while and then got it re-pierced because I missed it and god help me, getting your nose re-pierced through scar tissue it not fun. The original piercing was a 5/10 for pain level and getting it re-pierced was probably a 6.5/10.

I love piercings personally (mostly ears) and will probably add to my collection. I don’t know if I will ever get my other nipple done because that was quite the journey. I have a lot of future tattoo ideas, but the older I get, the more scared I am to ink my body.

If you have any questions please let me know! If you have any judgments, keep them too yourself. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

-A

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2019 Resolutions

Happy first month of 2019 my lovely friends!

How are you all coping?

I’ve been feeling quite anxious lately. I find the new year to hold a lot of pressure over us. We are expected to make all these changes and improvements on ourselves, but a lot of the time what happens is we set these unrealistic expectations and then are disappointed when we can’t keep up with them.

Personally, I do like the idea of resolutions. I think it’s an awesome time for people to step back and reflect on their lives and see where they would like to improve or see what things are not making them happy.

For myself, there are a few areas I would like to improve on.

2018 was a great year for a lot of realizations (que Kylie Jenner reference). I realized that I do let a lot of people occupy my time and energy that don’t necessarily deserve it. I don’t mean that in an arrogant way. I simply mean that these people weren’t giving me the growth, support or companionship, I was willing to give them.

I also realized how unhealthy the relationship between my body, food and exercise still was.

And lastly I realized that I have let my focus and goals drift from where they once were and this year I’d really like to get them back on track.

I am extra thankful for my struggles this year. They forced me to focus on myself and my friends around me and I really think that both the relationship with myself and my small friend group has never been stronger.

So without further ado. Here are my goals for 2019:

1) Stop ordering in food so much. With Skip and Dishes and Uber Eats, ordering-in has never been so tempting and I never in a million years thought I would be guilty of abusing this luxury, but this past year I got real bad. My goal for January was to cut this out completely and after a couple weeks into January, everything is going smoothly. This goal not only will save me money in the long run, but will help motivate me to cook more (which is another thing I’d love to improve on).

2) Decrease my alcohol consumption. This is something I have wanted to do for a while. I really really wish I could stop drinking all together and hopefully one day I will, but for now, I’d love to decrease the amount of alcohol I consume. I am definitely a social drinker and love indulging on the weekend after a long and stressful work week, but I’d also love to see myself take a step back from this.

3) Decrease the amount of “things” I keep buying. I have full on indulged largely in consumerism over the past few years and I really want to shift my focus back to solely what I NEED and not what I WANT. For the month of January I have also banned myself from buying clothes, makeup, etc. that I don’t NEED in this very moment. This has really made me realize how easily I throw my money at things I don’t need.

4) Continue to build a healthy relationship with myself. After suffering for years with bulimia, distorted eating and body-dismorfia, it has definitely been a journey in finding a healthy balance with all these things. I want to push myself, but not push myself too far. This next year I would really like to set some realistic goals when it comes to this area.

5) Refocus my goals. I really want to take a step back and refocus my goals this year. I would love to cross off a few travel destinations and also get my financial goals caught up. I would also love to put education on the top and front of all my to do lists.

I hope you all have an amazing 2019 that is full of growth, love and happiness! Cheers to you all!

-A

I Switched to a Natural Deodorant and here’s what happened!

So I’ve decided to start switching to more natural health products with the extra push from one of my friends who’s currently in school to be a natural path doctor. I have been using a string antiperspirant since I was in like grade 5, so over 17 years, and I have been hearing more and more about the bad things antiperspirant and aluminum containing deodorant can do to your body. So here we are. I made the switch!

I chose Native natural deodorant as my first switch. Now I wish I would have done a little more pre-switch research because I would have chosen a detox branded deodorant, that helps your body purge all the chemicals, oils and aluminum before switching to Native.

I am currently midway through my first week. Here’s what I’ve noticed to far:

Positives:

-softer underarms

-Native deodorant smells awesome (I have the coconut scented one)

Negatives:

-more sweating (I’m not used to this since I’ve literally been clogging my armpits with antiperspirants for years)

-mild itching after shaving (I was warned about this by another girl who uses this product)

-a really bad, chemical smell (I did not get this until day three, I heard your body will get a really bad smell as it starts to detox, but since I didn’t get it the first couple of days, I thought maybe I was going to be an exception. BUT it hit me hard yesterday and let me tell you, it is as bad as they say). It’s a very metal like smell and not BO.

**Update- one month on natural deodorant

Okay! So I’ve officially made the switch for one month.

Do I like it??

Hmm overall, I’m in the middle. If there was concrete evidence that natural deodorant is healthier or antiperspirant actually does cause cancer or other health issues than I would 100% be into natural deodorant. But there isn’t yet. It’s more of a recommendation.

I do like the idea that I’m no longer stopping my underarms from sweating because I know sweating is healthy, but I’m not used to the feeling yet. I’ve also noticed that I need to reapply natural deodorant once or twice a day, whereas with antiperspirant I never had to.

This new trend definitely has its benefits and restrictions. I personally am going to stick with it and use antiperspirant only for special events when I know I’ll be sweating more or unable to reapply my natural deodorant.

Either way, I would recommend trying it! Why not potentially do some good for your body if you’re able to!?

-A

Life Update.

What’s up What’s up!

I feel like I haven’t just taken a second to sit down an debrief my current life situation. Even if none of you care, I think it’s healthy for myself to see where I’m at, where I want to be and everything else in between.

I just finished doing a talk with a few teens at my old high school. I think it’s absolutely amazing, that mental health and well being is talked about so much more now than when I was there 10 years ago. I wish more than anything, that when I was in grade 10 they brought in someone like me to talk to them, to tell them that everything would be okay and that the things that seem so life-threatening and important, will be so small when you look back from where I am now.

Work. I took a quick trip to Calgary for my birthday and for a breather. I love Regina, but sometimes it’s suffocating. This place can feel so small and intertwined when you’ve grown up here. Calgary really helped me reset my goals and made me appreciate the smaller things about Regina. I’m hoping to move to Calgary in 2019. So that is my current motivation to keep me hustling.

Body. I am probably the most out of shape I’ve been in a while. But that is OK. Of course, there are things I would like to improve, BUT I feel happy in my body. I feel motivated at my workouts again after taking some time away. I like my curves. It’s all about balance. I’ve also been loving yoga lately. Taking an hour a day to slow down and be mindful.

Love. Non-existent and I’m loving it. Every time I start missing someone, I stop and think about what exactly I miss about that person. A lot of the time I miss companionship, so I will just text one of my best friends instead. I still get that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think of certain people, but I think the fact that they’re making no effort to reach out, is a realization enough that they don’t miss me. The chase should be equal on both sides. I had a good conversation about this with one of my friends. There is something about when someone is pursuing you. It shows they’re making an effort. When a relationship is one-sided in that aspect, let me tell you, it gets old and frustrating REAL quick.

28. I am surprisingly cool with being 28. I thought I would have a mental breakdown because I usually do around this time of the year, but the worst thing to happen is I spontaneously got my 11th ear piercing because I got bored one day. hahaha So I’ll take that over questioning all my life choices and completely shutting down. Plus, I’ve heard nothing but good things about being 30, so I’m excited about that chapter.

I think I rambled enough. I am happy (most days) and in a really good place. I’m excited for what 2019 has in store for me because I have a good feeling it’s going to be a big year.

Sending everyone who took the time to read this ramble all the love in the world. I hope someone or something makes you smile and feel thankful today.

-A

28 and Great. #Old

27 was great. But I guarantee 28 will be even better. I can’t wait to see what this year brings me; love, challenges, new beginnings, endings.. I’m open to it all.

Usually, I get super anxious about birthdays. Another year older. But this year, I’m weirdly at peace with it. I am thankful to be given the opportunity to grow older and continue to learn lessons about this crazy thing we call life.

Last year I wished my 27th would be the best year ever. No problems, no bumpy roads, just a straight peaceful path. But really.. what fun is that? What fun would life be if everything was perfect? There’s no room for growth in perfection.

This year I’m wishing for light. Light to guide my path to where ever this year takes me. Light to help me continue to grow. Light to lift me on dark days. Light to shine on myself and the people around me.

The biggest lesson I learnt this year, is that everyone who comes into your life serves a purpose. A lesson, a memory or just simply for a smile. I am thankful for all the people who’ve both came into and left my life. I’ve learnt to never dull my light for a person and to never let another person’s actions second guess myself. I’m not for everyone. Whether it be something as simple as my laugh or something bigger like my intentions in life. Never change who you are for someone.

Happy Birthday to any of my birthday twins out there. May your day be full of smiles, positive memories and cake (or tacos in my case haha).

And just like that. I’m no longer in my mid 20s. Bring on the late 20s baby. xx

-A

“You Do You”.

I saw this post today, which sparked the interest to write this post.

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I use to HATE this saying. HATE. HATE. HATE. I hated it so much, I felt the need to write “hate” in capital letters not once but three times.

My ex used to say it to me to piss me off. Anytime I would do something he didn’t like or didn’t approve of, he’d say: “Well you do you Ash”.

OOOHHHHH that makes my blood boil just thinking back on those times.

To me, this simple phrase of three words held so much negative meaning. When used, it meant I was doing something wrong that a person I cared so much for didn’t approve of. It meant the things I was doing when he said it to me, weren’t good enough for him. It meant that ME doing myself wasn’t good enough.

I even said it to other people, in the same way. To people, I later dated and even friends and family when they would do things that made me mad or I didn’t approve of.

Eventually, I took it onto myself to correct meaning of this phrase. Whenever I saw it and see it now, I think, “yah I’m going to do me, because I’m fucking awesome and anyone who makes me feel less than that doesn’t deserve to be a part of my life”.

This simple phrase brought a lot of pain and sadness to me. It reminded me that I wasn’t enough of something to be with the person that said it to me. I wasn’t good/perfect/funny/pretty/etc. enough.

Now when I see it, it makes me happy. It makes me happy to see how much growth I’ve had since I was that sad, people pleaser, willing to change myself or do anything for a person. How much I’ve grown into being and loving myself and all my weird quirks and characteristics.

When I see this phrase pop up on social media or hear someone say it, I smile. I smile because it motivates me to continue to “do” exactly what I want to “do” and be exactly myself.

-A

 

Scar Removal Update #5

Scar Removal #1
Scar Removal #2
Scar Removal #3
Scar Removal #4

It’s been a hot minute since I posted one of these. So I thought I would let everyone know where I’m at! If you have no idea what this post is about, I have linked all my previous posts above. Long story short, I am getting my past self-injury scars removed at a local clinic here in Regina, using laser, microneedling and plasma lift.

I am still getting treatments, about every 6 weeks right now (to allow healing time between each appointment). My scars are looking better and better after each treatment and I have noticed a huge difference in both the appearance and texture of my scarring.

We have been sticking to mainly microneedling on my leg because the scarring there is quite sunken in, the microneedling will help plump the skin back up.

On my arm, we have been mainly doing laser and this past appointment we also tried plasma lift, which is a tiny needle that delivers heat to the skin.

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(Here is what my arm looked like directly after the plasma lift. If you look close enough you can see tiny dots where the heat was transmitted onto my skin. This treatment is the most painful out of the three for sure. After the dots started healing they turned into scabs and were very itchy.)

**If you want to see videos of the treatments, you can find them on my Instagram highlights.

I also wanted to share two photos below of that microneedling healing looks like. I went for a treatment and got quite deep microneedling done, so the healing ended up looking a little different than usual. Usually, after the microneedling treatments, the skin is just a little swollen and red, but after a more invasive treatment, my skin peeled very mad.

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It has been almost a year since I started treatments (which is so crazy) and I am very thankful for this opportunity I was given. Ultimately, I know my scarring will never completely be gone, but I am very happy to be able to share this experience with you all and show people out there, that there are options to remove or lighten past self-injury scarring!

-A