2019 Resolutions

Happy first month of 2019 my lovely friends!

How are you all coping?

I’ve been feeling quite anxious lately. I find the new year to hold a lot of pressure over us. We are expected to make all these changes and improvements on ourselves, but a lot of the time what happens is we set these unrealistic expectations and then are disappointed when we can’t keep up with them.

Personally, I do like the idea of resolutions. I think it’s an awesome time for people to step back and reflect on their lives and see where they would like to improve or see what things are not making them happy.

For myself, there are a few areas I would like to improve on.

2018 was a great year for a lot of realizations (que Kylie Jenner reference). I realized that I do let a lot of people occupy my time and energy that don’t necessarily deserve it. I don’t mean that in an arrogant way. I simply mean that these people weren’t giving me the growth, support or companionship, I was willing to give them.

I also realized how unhealthy the relationship between my body, food and exercise still was.

And lastly I realized that I have let my focus and goals drift from where they once were and this year I’d really like to get them back on track.

I am extra thankful for my struggles this year. They forced me to focus on myself and my friends around me and I really think that both the relationship with myself and my small friend group has never been stronger.

So without further ado. Here are my goals for 2019:

1) Stop ordering in food so much. With Skip and Dishes and Uber Eats, ordering-in has never been so tempting and I never in a million years thought I would be guilty of abusing this luxury, but this past year I got real bad. My goal for January was to cut this out completely and after a couple weeks into January, everything is going smoothly. This goal not only will save me money in the long run, but will help motivate me to cook more (which is another thing I’d love to improve on).

2) Decrease my alcohol consumption. This is something I have wanted to do for a while. I really really wish I could stop drinking all together and hopefully one day I will, but for now, I’d love to decrease the amount of alcohol I consume. I am definitely a social drinker and love indulging on the weekend after a long and stressful work week, but I’d also love to see myself take a step back from this.

3) Decrease the amount of “things” I keep buying. I have full on indulged largely in consumerism over the past few years and I really want to shift my focus back to solely what I NEED and not what I WANT. For the month of January I have also banned myself from buying clothes, makeup, etc. that I don’t NEED in this very moment. This has really made me realize how easily I throw my money at things I don’t need.

4) Continue to build a healthy relationship with myself. After suffering for years with bulimia, distorted eating and body-dismorfia, it has definitely been a journey in finding a healthy balance with all these things. I want to push myself, but not push myself too far. This next year I would really like to set some realistic goals when it comes to this area.

5) Refocus my goals. I really want to take a step back and refocus my goals this year. I would love to cross off a few travel destinations and also get my financial goals caught up. I would also love to put education on the top and front of all my to do lists.

I hope you all have an amazing 2019 that is full of growth, love and happiness! Cheers to you all!

-A

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How to Make a Friendship Flourish and Not Flop

When you are young, friendships are sooo easy. Simple play dates, similar interests, same after-school activities, ect., but the older you get, the harder they get. Specially in female to female relationships.

I listened to a podcast today (Unlady Like) and it talked about the difficulty in female friendships and why so many of them don’t work. It discussed how it’s sometimes hard to be honest about how we’re feeling in friendships and comparison to relationships. It’s easier to tell your partner: “you hurt my feelings because you did (blank)” but harder to tell a friend this. Here are a few things I’ve found that have worked when building strong and long lasting friendships.

  1. Communication is key. In all relationships, communication is a major factor. You could simply be on different pages on something, or be reading entirely different books. It’s fine to take time and space from a friend to process emotions or feelings, but as soon as you’re ready and able to articulate your feelings, do so. This is the be all, end all of a friendship. You need to learn how to express what you’re going through, without attacking the other person. This is the best way to save or continue to grow a friendship.
  2. Allow your friend to win. Sometimes your friend is going to be more successful than you in life and you need to learn that that’s okay. It’s okay to celebrate them. It’s okay to be the ‘cheerleader’. Everyone has their own time to shine.
  3. Know when to just listen.  A lot of the time, a friend’s job is to just listen. Listen without judgement and without the desire to need to give your two cents. Sometimes a friend doesn’t need to be told what to do, they just simply need someone to be there and listen.
  4. Be loyal. No matter the circumstance or the current situation between you and your friend, always be on their side. Speak positively about them in their absence and always have their back.
  5. Always make time. Time is such a precious thing and should never be taken for granted. If you truly cherish a friend, make sure you are making them a priority in your life.

-A

What are you choosing to care about?

I am in the middle of reading the book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”. And when I say I’m in the middle of reading it, I mean that I randomly pick it up every once and a while and read a random chapter.

I highly recommend this book, especially to people like me, who care way too much about everything (not to say that isn’t a great characteristic to have).

The chapter I’m on is called: “You Are Always Choosing”. It basically talks about how we are responsible for everything in our lives. We may not always be responsible for what happens to us, but we are ALWAYS responsible for how we react, how we respond and how we move on from events in our life.

The book asked you these questions: “What are you choosing to care about? What values are you choosing to base your actions on? What metrics are you choosing to use to measure your life? And are those good choices, good values and good metrics?”

I really had to step back and think about these answers. I have been feeling very down lately for multiple reasons. Health, friendships and relationships and family.

My health is under control right now. I have not had a seizure in 2 years. I take my medication daily and am getting a prettying decent amount of sleep. I think I could almost choose to care a little more about my health. Getting some sort of exercise every day, eating properly and enough and maintaining a healthy sleep schedule.

I have had a hard time with friendships this year. Trying to balance which friendships I should out my time and energy into and which friendships I might need to let go of. I have finally realized that no matter how much love and respect I put into a friendship, that doesn’t mean I will receive the same back. I can’t choose how people treat me, but I can choose how I react to their treatment, and unfortunately, I have had to choose to let go of some people recently. I need to focus on the friendships that I have in my life and putting my attention and energy into making those friendships the strongest I can.

Relationships. It is completely my fault that I keep going back to the people that have hurt me, or a certain type of person that will end up hurting me in the end. I cannot allow myself to do this anymore. It’s no healthy, fair or beneficial to me. Being lonely is not a good enough reason to allow people to walk all over me. Never allow someone to make you an option when you’re making them a priority in your life.

Am I happy right now?

My short answer would be no. I feel lost, negative, ran down and stuck. But when I take a step and think about how I’m measuring this question, is the answer actually no?

I have a great group of friends. Friends that check on me and want the best for me. I can’t be friends with everyone. That’s just how life works. I am healthy and haven’t had a seizure in 2 years. I can’t predict or worry about the future when all I can do is concentrate on the now and doing everything I can to promote a healthy future. In relationships, I am the one who sets the standards of how people treat me. I need to stop accepting anything less than I deserve and if that means that I need to let people go, I need to accept this and trust that if these people want to be in my life, they will fight to be there.

I know this post was a huge ramble. Really, it was a post mostly for me to see that I can control whether I allow myself to continue to be sad and negative, or I can snap out of it and realize that I have people that love me in my life. I have people that want to see me succeed and want to see me smile.

It’s okay to have bad days. But it’s important that a bad day does not mean a bad life.

-A

Wanderlust: Central America

25 going on 20?


The reason I started this blog was to make fun of the 20s, specifically the mid 20s. To make fun of the laughable experiences we all go through and be able to ensure others that the crazy thoughts, events and life lessons that you may think you’re the only one experiencing, we are all going through. I wanted to write about the awkward hook ups, the nights I drank too much tequila and the times I laughed and made memories with my best friends. It’s crazy to think that since I started this blog I have experienced all those things and more. I’ve had my heart broken, I’ve laughed so hard I almost peed my pants and I’ve cried tears of joy and sadness. The one thing I’ve learnt about the mid 20s is that no one experiences it the same. I could pick out three 25 year olds and we could all be in COMPLETELY different points in our lives. I know 25 year olds that are married with kids. I know 25 year olds (like myself) that are still battling out the uni life. And I know 25 year olds that are still just trying to figure it all out. Every one of these stages is completely, and perectly okay to be at. There’s no longer a need in our society to compare our lives to others. Have kids and get married when you’re ready, not because you feel like you have to. Take as long as you want in university and enjoy every second of the laid back uni life. And search as long as you want till you find yourself, your passion and where you want to be in life. 

Especially this summer, I learnt to take a second and enjoy where I am in life. Enjoy the moments I may never get again. And to stop wishing I had someone else’s, because where I’m at right now, is not bad at all. 🙂

A