“I think the problem is that we depend on our lovers to love us the way we should love ourselves.”
Do you think it’s possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?
If I wanted this post to be sweet and simple, my answer would solely be ‘no’. No, in the eyes of our society, girls cannot date the same way like boys.
But obviously, you’re not here for the short and simple answer. You’re here to read me write myself in circles.
First off, I should explain what I mean by: date like a boy. By this I mean multiple girls at the same time, balancing feelings between them all and somehow having them all not know about each other. In no way am I saying all boys date like this, or that this is wrong. People can live and date however they want, I’m just here to speak my side.
I’m not even good at dating one person, let alone multiple people at once. Yes, I’ve texted more than one boy and yes, I’ve tried out the whole Tinder dating app but how on Earth do people have time (or energy) to hang out with multiple people. I don’t even have time to do my laundry or cook proper meals, let alone make myself look socially acceptable to go on a date every night of the week.
I also can’t have feelings for multiple people at once. This could 100% be something that’s just me, but I know I have friends that have voiced the same thing. Being attracted to someone and having feelings for someone, is two totally different things. I am attracted to multiple people, but when I have feelings for someone (true feelings), they are only for that one person. The difference here, between the way I date and the way some boys date, could be that I date for feelings, not for attraction. Of course having an attraction for the person you’re dating is important, but feelings are what build and make relationships last.
I also think society doesn’t think girls should date multiple people. When guys do it, they’re “playing the field”, “testing the waters”, or “wheeling the ladies”. When girls do it, we’re “slutty”, “whores”, or “damaged goods”. This is definitely a double standard and concept that has been stuck for many, many years.
Ladies, if you want to date multiple people, do your thang, don’t let people judge or label you for it.
Boys, if you’re dating multiple girls, make sure they know you’re doing that.
I’m currently in a writer’s block, but I’ve been wanting to write a faves post for a little bit. So I apologize if you could care less about what random things I’m into, but here we go anyway!!
My Summer must faves:
Burt’s Bees Lipstick
I found this gem at Shoppers and I have been in love ever since. I’m actually on my second one, only because someone stole my first (who steals lipstick?!). It’s moisturizing, with a slight colour to it. Perfecto for the summer time!
(In Nile Nude)
Levi Restored Cut Off Shorts
I get compliments on these shorts all the time and I’m not going to lie, I’m a little surprised by that. I mean I full on love these shorts, but they don’t really do much for my body shape. I love them because 1) my buttcheeks do not hang out 2) they’re hella comfortable and 3) I can dress them up or dress them down.
(I got mine from Aritzia)
I actually think I’ve written about this oil before, but I have to give it another shout out. I do not know what the heck’s been going on, but my skin has been going mental. Too oily or too dry (my fault I overused tea tree oil), basically a pimple party. But this stuff has saved me again. I use it both on my skin, in my hair and even mix it in with my foundation. It’s basically the bomb dot com.
Cold Brew Coffee
Random AF, I know. But another thing I’ve been digging lately (probably because I’m working more than I’m sleeping). In my understanding, cold brew coffee has more caffeine than normal coffee?? That’s what I tell myself anyway. haha. Anyways, my go to order: cold brew, coconut milk and sugar-free caramel.
The Black Mirror
I’ve actually watched this entire series before, but I just got back into it.. and guys…. what are you doing if you haven’t watched this Netflix series yet!? This show pushes the boundaries and starts conversations. Basically, this show takes certain societal concepts and exaggerates them to the extreme. Check it out!
I think I will forever be obsessed with Tumblr. I know, this is so random, but Tumblr is just the best. I just love scrolling and reading the positive quotes and seeing beautiful pictures from around the world. If you want to see some of the stuff I dig, check out my page: Siempre Para Siempre.
Maaji Bathing Suits
I used to work at a swim suit store (fun fact of the day), so I was lucky enough to get to try out a few different bathing suit brands at buyer prices and Maaji is by far my favourite. I think I’ve had my suit for three years now and it still looks brand new and I still get compliments on it all the time. They are on the pricey side, but in my opinion very worth it! Definitely, check them out!!
I’m usually not the kind of person who jumps on the train of the newest fads or watches the shows that everyone else is watching, but.. I broke my own rules and my goodness am I happy I did. If you haven’t heard of the Netflix series, “13 Reasons Why”, stop what you’re doing, head over to Netflix, and check it out. It’s seriously life-changing and worth all the hype! I crushed the series in two days, and for once I can say it wasn’t a waste of my time. Here are 13 reasons why I think everyone needs to watch this series at least once. (ps, no spoilers included)*
- It really puts into perspective how your actions and words can affect another person’s life. Calling someone fat, telling someone they’re stupid, slut shaming a girl; even though you may think these are just words, you never know what another person is going through and the harm these words can have on them.
- Rape. A topic that is often pushed to the back of the closet, is brought out into the light and there is definitely no filter on it (which is exactly the way it should be). This show gives it to you straight and doesn’t tippy-toe around the subject like other shows and movies do. It shows how rape changes a person’s life forever. It’s not okay. The series also depicts the rapist as someone you wouldn’t think would be one, and shows the consequence of this as well.
- There’s something in this show that everyone can relate to. Whether you were the bully or bullied, you get to see both sides and it really makes you second guess your actions and will hopefully change the way you act towards and talk about other people.
- This show starts conversations. The number of people I have talked to about this show in the past week is insane, which is such a good thing. It’s starting conversations about hard topics, topics that are usually not talked about in public and that is such a beautiful thing. Yes, topics like rape, suicide, self-harm, child abuse, etc. are ugly and horrible, but they need to be talked about so teenagers and kids know that they are not the only ones going through these things.
- It helps adults who didn’t have the same technology we had growing up understand cyberbullying, and see how it can have such a huge impact on someone’s life. Social media is a huge part of our generation, and our parents who didn’t grow up in the same cyber infused world we did, now have an insight into what it’s like through this show.
- This series also shows teens, kids and anyone really that what you say and put on the internet is now there forever. The pictures you post, the things you write, are on display. It also shows that Facebook, Instagram and other social media apps are filtered versions of people’s lives. Even by looking at all the pictures and posts a person puts online, you could still have no idea what’s going on in that person’s life.
- Teenagers don’t think the same way adults do. This point was brought up in the “behind the scenes” episode. Something that may seem small and insignificant to parents, teachers and other adults, could actually be something huge and trivial for a teenager. This show helps people understand that sometimes the little things, could be the things that push a person over the tipping point.
- Slut shaming needs to stop. Women are not objects or things. Being sexy or attractive should not be the most important aspect or trait that a girl or women can possess. Objectifying women, just opens the door for other people to do the same. No teenage girl should ever be viewed in this way. Calling a girl “easy” or “tight” or rating girls on a scale of 1-10, are things that need to stop.
- This show will make you reflect on your high school self, whether it was a couple months ago, 10 years ago or if you’re still in high school now. This series makes you think back on the things you did right and wrong and what you can do differently now. It teaches you how you can learn from your past actions, teach others, start conversations and hopefully shape your future decisions.
- Teenager’s brains aren’t developed fully like adults and they aren’t always able to explain their feelings in words. All signs of depression or suicide should be taken seriously. Dropping of grades, changes in personality, aggression, etc. are all signs that can often be overlooked. Teenagers don’t always understand that the things they are feeling are treatable or can be helped. There are millions of options out there.
- I hope watching this series helps teens, kids and even adults know they are not alone. Opening up, asking for help, or even offering your ear to someone in need can make a difference. Looking back, I wish I would have. I wish I would have understood the feelings I had did not make me broken, or unlikable. They made me human and it would have been perfectly fine for me to tell someone I needed help.
- Another topic that is brought up in the “behind the scenes” episode is about being open about sex and sexuality between parents and children. Teenagers need to learn about consent to understand what is okay and what is not okay. Young boys should be taught to ask a girl, “do you want to have sex?”. If they can’t build up the nerve to simply ask that question and get a clear “yes”, then they shouldn’t be having sex in the first place.
- Personally, this show impacted me the most in the suicide episode. Like the rape scenes, the series does not shy away from showing the main character, Hannah’s suicide. This scene in the show is absolutely unbearable and uncomfortable to watch. Going through high school, I was very depressed and more than once thought about ending my life. Watching this episode showed me so many things. Its rawness took away the “easiness” that I use to view suicide as. Ending your own life may end the pain you are feeling at that exact moment, but you leave behind so many people that are now hurting in your absence. Suicide is not an easy way out. Suicide is forever. Suicide doesn’t only take your life, it takes someone’s sister’s life, someone’s daughter’s life, someone’s best friend’s life. Suicide should never be an option.
I hope this helps convince you to check out “13 Reasons Why”, and if it didn’t, hopefully, my reasons gave you a few things to think about.
It’s okay to not be okay. You won’t always feel the way you are feeling right now. People care about you even when you don’t think so. And you have an amazing future ahead of you. Keep pushing.
I haven’t written in awhile because in all seriousness I didn’t think the things I wanted to write about were really worth it. The recent passing of a friend put a lot of things into realization. Put life into a new perspective for not only myself but for a lot of people around me.
This past week my mind has been running in over time. Trying to understand why someone so full of energy and life could be taken at such a young age. Trying to understand the stages of grieving and how people do it differently. Trying to be there for my best friend but also allow myself to grieve and find the understanding I needed.
Amanda was the most beautiful human you could have ever met. Anyone who met her knows this. She lit up every room she walked into and left every room a better place. In a short 26 years, she changed more lives than some people do in 80. I was lucky to make some unforgettable memories with her, that I will always hold close to my heart.
Her aunt explained her in the best way possible. She called her an “Earth Angel”. An Earth Angel is someone who is sent to Earth to make the world a better place. To help others, spread kindness and to make a difference by shining light and love on everyone around them. This is exactly what she did. This is exactly what Amanda was, and unfortunately, Earth Angels don’t often live for very long. They live fast, they make the world better place and they leave, leaving a positive impact behind.
Amanda will forever be missed by many. Her smile and shining light will continue to live on through all those who met and knew her.