An Honest Lie

I think in all aspects of life. Honesty is the key. Honesty about feelings, intentions, dreams, wishes, needs, wants, dislikes and everything in between. The thing is, what happens when honesty hurts more than a lie?

Do you think a lie is alright if it saves a person from getting hurt?

In my opinion, I would rather be slapped in the face with the truth, than live under the safety blanket of a lie because that safety is only temporary. The truth will always come out, one way or other. It may not be in words, but can be found in the actions of another person.

If something doesn’t feel right, believe that instinct. Believe that feeling. Your intuition is a lot more accurate than you think.

Critiquing the Critiquers

Every single thing that happens in your life, shapes the person you are. Every person that comes into your life, every person that leaves your life and all the people and experiences in between.
I am not going to lie. I am the kind of person who over thinks and over analyzes every. single. situation. If a person looks at me the wrong way, my mind tells me they don’t like me. If someone doesn’t give me the check of approval, I must have done something wrong. As simple as someone not answering a text message, makes my mind work in over drive.
In saying this, every person that comes into my life and for some reason leaves, I take that onto myself and I take it very personally. Lost friendships, past relationships, I carry those things with me, often for far too long. I am not the kind of person that can easily forget things. I still over think experiences from elementary school. Like what?! Who does that?
While on Tumblr last night I reposted this quote that said:

“If someone treats you badly recognize that there is something wrong with them, not you. Normal people do not go around destroying other people.”

I immediately thought of a list of people I could send that too. All the people that made me focus on my flaws as negative things instead of beautiful things, all the people who have tried to change me along my path of life and to anyone who ever made me doubt myself or doubt my dreams.
After reposting this quote, I saw this one:

“It was a privilege to love you, and it was a privilege to let you go. Both helped shape me into the person I have become.”

I realized that the people in my past, though they may have hurt me, or broken my heart, they shaped me into the person I am. My chubby cheeks that one person may have criticized once, is something that another person loves about me. I am stronger because of the people and experiences of my past. They didn’t hold me down, or damper my worth. They lifted me up and made me realize how thankful I am for my flaws that make me different than the person next to me.
I think when you come to this realization, is when you can finally be happy. People will never stop criticizing you throughout your life, but we are all capable of moving past these criticisms and loving yourselves as we are. Make sure to surround yourself with people who view your flaws as beauty and lift you up when the criticisms from the world become too much for you to carry alone.

ox
Ash

Modern Day Dating

Have no fear, Ashley is here.. to be the crash test dummy when it comes to dating in 2017.

First off, let’s just clear the table.. Where have I been for the last two months? Same place, doing the same things. haha Just kidding. I actually graduated in June and got a real life job. **Hold the applause. Going from working 5 part-time jobs, to a real life job, sounds like a dream come true, until I find myself working six 12 hour shifts in a row and missing out on all the fun summer things. Real life can kiss my butt haha (but seriously).

Okay, back to the reason for this post. Dating. The bane of my existence. The sour milk to my perfect cup of coffee and the clouds to a sunny summer day. Yea, yea, I know I’m being dramatic, but if you’ve lived my past couple years of dating, you’d understand where I’m coming from.

“Boys are just intimidated by you!”, “You’re too busy to date anyway!”, “Maybe you need to go for a different type of guy.”, I’ve heard every excuse and advice on dating that you could possibly think of, and guess what? I’m still single. I’ve gone for the “nice guy”, the “bad guy”, the “sporty guy” the “smart guy”, you name it, I’ve probably gone on a date with it. And after all of this “life experience,” we’ll call it, I still don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

Let’s start from the beginning. Meeting boys. The real question is how do single ladies even meet single men now a day? It’s not like I’m a hermit crab. I go out to coffee shops (probably too many of them if we’re being honest here), I’m a member at multiple gyms (again, probably too many) and I also like to go out to bars and pubs.. but 99% of the time no one comes up to me. Believe me, it’s not like in the movies, boys aren’t begging to buy me drinks, or offering to pay for my coffee. Cute guys don’t come up to me, saying cute one liners that make me blush. It’s usually an accidental butt graze and a creepy one-eye closed smile at 2:30am when the bar lights come on and people are getting kicked out of the club I’m at.. yea sign me up for that please.. not.

Tinder, let’s just get this one out of the way. Yea, I’m on Tinder and no I won’t message you first if we match.  Here’s the issue I see with Tinder.  Since I live in a smaller city you could call it, I know AT LEAST 75% of the guys on Tinder. Out of that, at least 50% of those guys follow me on some sort of social media or we’re Facebook friends. Do you really need to match me on Tinder to get the initiative to talk to me????? Why not just message me?? Or better yet, talk to me in person when we see each other out! Clearly with the amount of selfies and dog pictures I take, I’M STILL SINGLE. If I see you on TInder and I know you in actual real life, I will not swipe right on you. If you liked me enough you would talk to me in person.. Am I being too sceptical? Probably, but I don’t really care.

Okay, so say we’ve made it past the stage of getting asked out (or let’s be honest, asking the person out yourself) we move onto the oh-so-important texting stage. My personal favourite, because now it becomes a team effort of screen shotting text conversations and sending them to your all-girl group chats to try and figure out what to say back.. Oh you didn’t think we actually did this?? Sorry to burst your bubble, but we do. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m completely fed up and over this stage. I don’t like the texting games of “should I text him first” or “is it too soon to text him back” BS. Tell me to have a great day in the morning, maybe send a cute text in the afternoon and a nice “how was your day?” at night and I’ll be perfectly pleased. If you want to hang out, ASK ME, don’t assume I know, because I am a huge believer that: “Assuming makes an ASS out of U and ME”. haha

Okay, onto the actually ‘dating stage’ if you’re lucky enough to have made it here (most of the time I don’t because I get fed up of the texting and snap chatting phase) I think guys have forgotten how to take a girl on a date. A date is not watching Netflix at your place, with a possible offering of some kind of beverage (usually water because anything else takes too much effort). A date is not a 12am text on a Saturday night. Boys, those are straight up booty calls. Let me say that to you again. BOO-TAY calls. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with a good booty call, but be honest if that’s all you want. Remember, communication is key. If you don’t want to be called a f*ck boy, player or any other term in that category, claim a booty call for what it is, and don’t lead a poor girl on, thinking it’s something it’s not. **Spoiler alert, I’m usually the poor girl thinking it’s something it’s not.

Please, dating world, let’s try to rewind the time. Let’s appreciate and respect each other the way we all deserve to be treated. Stop the mind games, stop the dating of multiple people at once. If you like someone, tell them, don’t assume they know. If you just like their booty, make sure you draw the line so you’re not leading them on. Life is too short, don’t waste your time or other people’s time on fake love, or false feelings.

Respect. Communication. Truth.

That’s all I ask for.

Is that really too much?

Motivation Monday!

I am currently writing my last final! I can’t wait to be done and be able to focus on reading and writing things that actually interest me!!

Here’s a 20 min. video on social media and our society. It’s truely a great listen and really makes you think about the amount of time we all spend on our phones!

Talk to you all soon!

-A

#LettersToNoOne

Dear Whoever Needs to Read This,

I want you to know you are not alone. No matter how alone in this world you may feel sometimes, or how much you might have convinced yourself that no one cares, you have people who care about you.

I want you to know that you will make it through this. Even through the times that you feel like you’re drowning in a never ending hole of darkness. You will see the light again, and when you do, you will appreciate the light more than you did before.

I want you to know that you will find someone who loves you one day. You might have to go through a few to find someone who really appreciates you as you are, but when you do, it will be worth the wait.

I want you to know that all the hard work will pay off. Keep pushing. Never give up on yourself. And never let anyone tell you your dreams are too big.

I want you to know that the mistakes you make, we’ve all made. Learn from them and move past them. Don’t let the past ruin your future.

And lastly, I want you to know you are perfectly perfect the way you are. All the little things that make you different, the little things that you might not like about yourself, are the things that make you, you. Please make sure you surround yourself with people that never let you forget this.

#ALetterFromMeToYou

**UnderstandUs‘s newest campaign will be launching in May. This year’s campaign is called ‘Letters To No One’. I can’t wait for you all to see it!

🙂

A