trust-less

The feeling I am having right now is not the feeling I wanted to start this year around the sun with. I feel betrayed, heartbroken and abused. **Not in a physical type of abuse kind of way, just to clarify. But I feel abused emotionally.

I never want to have to change myself for the better of the people around me, to make people like me more, or to make the people around me more comfortable. I grew up doing that way too often, and I am finally happy with the person I am today. I am outgoing, fun and caring. I put the people I love and care about first in my life and would give them the world if I could. But the issue I have continuously come across with is people take advantage of this characteristic of mine. Instead of it being a personality strength, it commonly becomes a weakness.

But how do I change this? Do I block these people out of my life? Do I close myself off, and build up the walls that have taken me years to tear down?

I don’t know. And I also don’t know how much longer I can have my heart continually walked all over.

 

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