I have been wanting to write this post for foreverrrrr.
But first I had to decide how I wanted people to portray it. Did I want to make people laugh, and take on a funny view to this term? Did I want to make people feel pity for the girls who are tagged as the “the side chick”, or did I want to throw it all down, the raw, real and naked truth?
Obviously, funny is always the easiest route, the second I would say is the pity route, then the hardest is when you lay down the truth. Truth is always the hardest because when people disagree with it, it hurts your writing ego a little bit. haha
Well, here we are. Ok ok I know, “Ashley, get to the point”. I’m heading there I promise. But first, a little back story.
So, what is a “side chick” or the “other woman”. Well, readers, this is what the trustful Urban Dictionary had to tell me:
the other woman; also known as the mistress; a female that is neither a male’s wife or girlfriend who has relations with the male while he is in another relationship
In society, the side chick is glamorized. She the more attractive woman, that’s better in bed and is always dressed to the 9s. She knows about the wife or girl friend but doesn’t care because inside she knows she’s better, hotter, sexier, etc.
But in real life, the side chick thinks she’s the only girl. She’s the one that gets the hate, even though it’s the husband or boyfriend that are making the wrong choices.
The side chick gets the “Are you awake?” at 3am text messages, whereas the partner gets the “Good morning beautiful” texts. The side chick gets the “You’re hot” DMs, whereas the partner gets the “I’m so happy I met you” comments on pictures. The side chick gets the creepy smirks across the bar, whereas the partner gets paraded around and shown off. Ok ok, I’m getting side tracked and jumping on the pity party train. Let’s take a new approach.
To the side chicks out there. You are better than him. You deserve to be shown off, to be loved and to be the only girl in someone’s life. Don’t let him convince you otherwise. Don’t let him tell you, you are his only one. Believe your gut feeling, because it is usually right.
To the wife/girlfriend/partner. Don’t let out all the blame on these girls that your man is fooling. Don’t compare yourself to them. Don’t hate them. They deserve the exact same thing you deserve. To be respected by a man and not played by a boy. Remember they might not know you exist, and that is not their fault. Remember to take a step back, and realize the blame should be dealt out accordingly.
To the man, or should I say boy. Who makes you think you’re so much better than those around you? Why do you think it’s fair to play with people’s hearts the way you have or waste people’s time the way you did? Think about the way you make these women feel like objects instead of human beings. These girls you are messing around with would give you the world, and you can’t even give them the respect they deserve.
I have been the side chick, the other woman and it has taught me a lot. Not only has it made me feel hurt and extremely guilty, but it was taught me about what I want and deserve in this crazy world of love. I want someone to care that I’m obsessed with the colour blue and sharks. I want them to remember my birthday without me having to remind them and to remember I’m allergic to kiwis. I want someone to call me just because I crossed their mind. I want them to be proud of me and want to introduce me to their friends. And most importantly I want to be respected and valued the way I respect and value the people who are important to me in my life.
Playing with people’s hearts or time is no joke, my friends. A person’s heart is the most beautiful thing about them. The way they smile while doing the things they love, with the people they love. And time should never be taken advantage of because it is something so valuable and limited.
Love others the way you want to be loved and treat people the way you want them to remember you.