This is.. 26?

GUYS! Long time no talk. What is going on with me, you ask?? Well, quite a lot. Why haven’t I written? Becuase I am a doofus and left all my essays till the last minute (not surprising) so I have been grinding to get them all done.

First off. I’m 26!! Weehoo. And surprisingly I had no breakdowns, meltdowns or “I’m getting old” pity parties.  I was in Toronto for Grey Cup, surrounded by the people I love, honestly what more can I ask for? This year I am looking at my increasing age as a blessing.  I am lucky enough to be a year older. I am lucky enough to be healthy and happy and have a roof over my head and food to fill my stomach. Was 2016 my best year? Probably not. But, could it have been worse? Definitely.

I’ve been fighting off a lot of demons lately.  For some reason, Christmas is always a hard time for me.  I’m not sure if it’s cause my family doesn’t really celebrate it plus the combination of stress from finals, but whatever it is I always find myself down.  I’ve been trying to keep myself positive by listening to what my body and mind needs.  I often like to remind myself by reading old posts, to see how far I’ve come. I came across this post from 3 years ago and I thought I would share it

I celebrated the beginning of my birthday with someone I was to quick to judge and he told me something that made me view my day differently. Today made me anxious because it meant I am a year older, Im a year closer to having a real life, with real life problems, with real life decisions. I told him that I hated birthdays because it meant I was now old. He looked at me and sincerely said.. “You should celebrate your birthdays proudly, because there are many people who aren’t lucky enough to have any.”
Im 23, I’m a year older, but that doesn’t change anything about me. Is my life where I thought it would be by 23? No. Would I change anything about it? No. This year started off with an up hill battle. Being more depressed than I have ever been. Losing my license for 6 months and having to be on these insane meds. This past weekend proved to me that no matter what, life will always get better. I would not choose to be anywhere else than where I am right now. I would not choose to be surrounded with any other amazing people. Thank you to the people who stuck with me. Thank you to my new friends for the new memories. And thank you all for reminding me that life is worth living.

It’s so funny. I feel as though I could have written this on my birthday this year, and nothing would have changed. I lost my license again this year, and again I am on crazy meds. I spent last night, talking on the phone to someone who makes my heart so happy, but this person is again someone I was quick to judge at first.  This person reminded me to be thankful for all I have because some people aren’t as lucky as I am.

I am so lucky. Lucky to get an education. Lucky to have people around me that love me. Lucky to grow another year older. Every year brings new battles, but these battles don’t have to ruin the whole year, and sometimes I forget this. Every year these battles make me stronger, they become who I am. Sure this year some shitty things have happened, but if there’s anything I’ve learnt, it’s these things that shaped me into the person I am.  These battles make my smile bigger when I defeat them and these battles make me appreciate when good things and people come into my life.

-A

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