Ghosting 101

*I found this post in my ‘drafts’ and decided to revisit and post it. I sometimes write in moments of anger or frustration, and by the post you are about to read, this was obviously one of them.  This is not meant to come across as rude or hurtful and I am not trying to target or single anyone out in particular.  I just felt I had to share my side and my viewpoint.
-A

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Okay, maybe we should start with what ‘ghosting’ is (in my understanding). It is the deletion of people from one’s social media (ie. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, SnapChat, etc.). Harsh? I guess in some people’s views, but here is my side of it.

If we dated or were friends, and we fell apart for whatever reason, to me that is where it ends. Why would I want you to have an insight into my life or allow myself the insight into yours? You chose to no longer be a part of my life.  Why should you get to see the events that go on in my life, the things that make me smile or the new experiences that I am having? If you hurt me, you don’t deserve to see me smile anymore.

There is a quote that often pops up on my Twitter or Tumblr and it says something about: “If they blocked you, then you won.” This quote drives me crazy because this quote calls me out, it says I’m the weak one.  It tells me that I am letting my exes, old friends, and people that have broken my heart win.  But I don’t see it like that.  There is no winning when someone’s heart is broken, or a friendship is lost.  There is only loss. Why should it matter who blocks who?  Who can withstand seeing the other person or people happy without you the longest?  Not only do I not want to you to see my life, but I don’t want to allow myself to see yours’.

People think my actions are selfish and you know what, maybe in some people’s eyes they are and I’m not going to try and change their minds.  I would rather not see what my exes or old friends are doing via social media, and if that’s selfish of me, then so be it. You can call me childish or immature and you can tell me I’m just trying to hurt the people that have hurt me, but in reality, I’m stopping myself from obsessing over Instagram posts and  SnapChats.  If I want to find out how these people are, I’m forcing myself to have to text or call them, not just creep their profiles.

Across my social media accounts, I try to spread positivity. I want to be surrounded by people who will congratulate me on my successes and appreciate how I see the world through the pictures I post.  I live my life for me, not the likes.

-A

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