letter to my past.

to my maybe soulmate,

I am beginning to believe that soul mates are never supposed to be together. Maybe they come into your life to teach you a lesson, or to give you hope, or to put a twist in one of your chapters of life. You my friend, my never lover, have taught me one thing. You’ve taught me to be grateful for who I am. I am thankful to be carefree, the lost soul you’ve judge me for.. the wildflower. I may not have morals to your standards or an equally clean slate, but that doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of love and success in life. That doesn’t make me any less wanted or pure or clean. It doesn’t make me worn, dirty or stained. It all makes me me. It binds together the mismatched fails, successes, and adventures, me. And even though you would change those things about me, you taught me that I wouldn’t. And I can thank you for that.

From your not so perfect dream girl

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Pick-Me-Up!

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Happy Saturday Loves, here’s a little pick-me-up/ reminder.
Hope it reaches the people that need to see this, and works for a great reminder for the others!

🙂

-Ash

Friday Faves: MakeUp (Part 2)

Guess who’s back.. back again? haha but seriously, it’s only Tuesday and I’m already starting to write this blog because I just love talking about makeup that much… some might call it an obsession. Nahhh. So here is a continuation on from my first Friday Faves: MakeUp (Part 1). Grab a snack, sit back and let’s get back into it again!

Bronzers:
I like my bronzers with a cooler undertone, especially since my skin tone is already on the orange side.  If I use an orangey bronzer combined with my skin tone, I look like a pumpkin! I also prefer matte bronzers, compared to bronzers with a sparkle in them, I find this makes them look a lot more realistic on the skin!

My first fave is the Too Faced- Soleil Matte Bronzer in the shade ‘Chocolate’.  This is the perfect bronzer for both contouring and bronzing the face.  It is a cooler tone, so it leaves the most natural, sunkissed glow to the face! This is definitely a staple in my makeup collection AND it has the most wonderful smell of chocolate. YUM!
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The second favourite bronzer is one that I would consider as a dupe for the Too Faced one! **A dupe is a cheaper version of an expensive product. The only difference is this one is a little more powdery whereas the Two Faced bronzer is more velvety. This bronzer is NYX Cosmetics- Matte Bronzer in . Again this is just the perfect bronzer for both contouring and bronzing the face. It’s not too warm and it’s not too cool toned and it glides on the face wonderfully!
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**I currently use the Benefit Cosmetics- Hoola Bronzing and Contouring Brush to apply bronzer!

Blush/ Highlighter:
I’m not going to lie, I have yet to find my ride or die blush and highlighter, but I am going to include the ones I use on the daily right now. These are my current summer go tos, but there’s just something about both of them, that make them just not quite my favourites.

The blush I’m going to talk about is Nars- Blush in the shade Orgasm.  I heard so many good things about this blush, so I finally indulged.  It is pretty, don’t get me wrong, it just wasn’t quite what I expected and didn’t quite live up to my expectations.  It might have a lot to do with the fact that it has a shimmer in it, which I am not a fan of, but when you wear it on the skin it’s not that noticeable. I also find it very underwhelming when I wear it and have a fake tan on, you can barely see it on my skin and if I’m paying for high-end products, I want people to notice them!
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**I use the Sephora Collection- Pro Small Blush and Contour Brush to apply the blush.

The highlighter I’m going to briefly mention is the Make Up For Ever- Pro Sculpting Duo in Color 2 Golden.  I do really like this, especially for when I’m performing or going out.  There’s just something about it that holds me back from saying it’s my favourite. Like most highlighters, I find it clings and extenuates texture on my skin.  I also find it fades throughout the time I’m wearing it.  To make it last the longest, I apply it directly after I apply my makeup setting spray.  This makes it the most vibrant and last the longest!  Very beautiful product, just not my favourite.
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** I use a dampened sponge from the drug store to apply highlighter!

EyeBrows:
I’m not a huge eyebrow professional.  If you didn’t notice from my pictures, I was blessed with already pretty full eyebrows.  I only fill in a few sparse spots and set them to keep them looking a little more tamed.

The first ride or die eyebrow product is Anatasia Beverly Hills- Brow Wiz in either Taupe or Caramel. I have tried many other products, but for me, nothing else compares. This eyebrow pencil is easy to use, comes in many shades and leaves you having a perfect eyebrow day, every day!
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The second product is again by Anatasia Beverly Hills. It’s the Brow Gel in Clear. This stuff is like glue for your eyebrows! They will not move the entire day, and the best part is it never gets flakey or white if you try and brush your brows out. Love this stuff. Definitely worth the splurge!
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Mascara: 
Eyelashes are the one thing I do not skimp out on. If you haven’t noticed I have been blessed with ridiculously long eyelashes (thank you genetics). I honestly have at least one person ask me a day what I use on them, if they’re real, etc. I am here to tell you my lash secrets!

The first mascara I use (yes I use multiple mascaras on the daily) is wonderful. I recently tried to see if I could go without it and use a less expensive one, and I could not. It is Benefit Cosmetics- Roller Lash Curling and Lifting Mascara.  This stuff works miracles! I have multiple friends who use this, and I have never heard anything bad about it! It lengthens, curls and does not flake at all as the day goes on.  It also does not get chunky at all! LOVE IT!
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The second mascara I use is Australis- Voluptulash Mascara. The photo below does not do the brush justice. It is a little comb-like applicator, which I think scares many people, but I like how it looks on top of the first mascara I talked about.  Another thing I like about this mascara is that it is a tubing formula, meaning it’s waterproof and smudge-proof, but still comes off easily at the end of the day! It’s also on the cheaper side, so that’s always a plus!
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Finally, the last mascara I want to talk about is a crowd favourite.  It’s Too Faced- Better Than Sex Mascara.  This mascara is fabulous! It gives your eyelashes the perfect volume without looking clumpy. Is it better than sex? Very, very close haha. The only thing about this mascara is that I do not like it alone. I would never wear this without having a base mascara on first, maybe I’m weird, that’s just how I feel.
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Lip Stick:
Anyone who knows me, knows I love a good statement lip.  I haven’t ventured too far into the latest liquid lipstick trend, but I do know a few good staples.

I’ll start with my first favourite brand, which is also the brand that started my lipstick obsession… I mean collection ;). Of course, this is MAC Cosmetics lipsticks. I’m sure it’s not news to anyone that they make some of the most fabulous lipsticks. They range in colours, finishes and lasting time. Some of my favourites include: Flat Out Fabulous (a bright plum matte), Honey Love (a light nude matte), Lady Danger (a bright coral-red matte) and Vegas Volt (a coral sheen). **Photos below in the order I listed them!

The next lipstick brand I want to talk about is Bite Beauty. Unfortunately for me, I only own one lipstick from this brand, but I ABSOLUTELY love it. Everything from the consistency, to the pigment. Simply amazing! Bite Beauty advertises their lipsticks as “so good you could eat them” because they are hand made, with natural ingredients that you could literally eat! So cool! The colour I own is Violet, which I couldn’t find on the site, but I’ve heard Honeycomb (a beige nude) is amazing!
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I have one more lipstick brand to mention before I bore you all to death. This last one is equally as fabulous as the first two, and LUCKILY gentle on your wallet. It’s ColourPop! This brand is definitely underated and under talked about. I think the main reasoning for this is because as of right now, you can only purchase ColourPop online! I own a few products by them and their Lippie Stix are definitley my favourite. I own the shade Clique (a orangey-red). It wears great and is the perfect colour for summer (I also own the mathcing lip liner and it goes on so smooth)! I highly reccomend you check them out!
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We did it! We made it through my two-part makeup favourite posts! I literally could stretch this out for another post, but I won’t do that to you. Let me know what some of your favourites are, or if you end up trying out any of my favourites! I am not being paid to talk about any of these products, they are literally my favourite that I use often if not every day! 🙂

-Ash

Get to know me!

A little about me:
I am a 25-year-old, energetic, adventure lover.  I have been in school for far longer than I would like to admit, but will finally be graduating in 2017 with a major in Sociology and a minor in Psychology. Sociology is quite fascinating and not just an easy elective like people like to think. Studying it has really opened my eyes to why the world works the way it does. I consider myself an introverted extrovert, which I think would surprise a lot of people because most people know me as the girl with the big white teeth and the obnoxious laugh. I am a dance teacher, a member of the Rider Cheer Team and the co-coach of the U of R Dance Team.

Few things people don’t know about me:
-I will be applying to do an after degree in education.  It took me way too long to figure out that teaching and children were what I am passionate about, but I’m happy I got here!
-I am in recovery from an eating disorder.  I say in recovery instead of recovered because it is something I will probably struggle with for the rest of my life.  Unlike other mental illnesses like alcoholism or a drug addiction where the substance that is causing the issue can be eliminated from the person’s life, food cannot be.  I don’t like to talk about this, because I like the positive view that people have of me, and I never want something like this to distort that, but at the same time, I think it is important for me too because I want to be a role model.  I want people to understand that mental illness doesn’t mean you are broken, or unloveable or imperfect, it makes you a survivor, it makes you stronger and it makes you perfectly imperfect.
-I hope to one day write a book about my struggles in hope you inspire and encourage people to push through their struggles, and to know that anything they’re going through will only make them stronger in the end.

Thoughts on society’s concept of beauty:
I think society has created this unreachable concept of beauty, but I think our generation is doing a good job of changing it.  There are so many amazing people out there now a day, standing up against this mould that has been created.  I think beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colours, ages, genders, races etc.  I think everyone is beautiful in their own way and it’s just sad that society can’t acknowledge this.  I think it’s so so so important to love yourself first, because if you love yourself, then there’s no way you’ll ever let society tell you you’re not good enough.

Most valuable lesson I’ve learnt so far:
I think the most important lesson I’ve learnt is to love yourself first. I spent way too many years trying to be someone I wasn’t, trying to be the person I thought I had to be to make people like me, but in reality if those people didn’t like me for who I truly was, then those people didn’t deserve to be part of my life anyway. I would love to get the years and the sleepless nights back of wishing I was someone else, and that I had a different life, because now that I’m finally happy with myself and with my life, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Advice for others:
Never ever ever ever ever let anyone tell you you’re not good enough or make you feel like you need to change. Each and every one of us is unique for a reason and each of us deserves to be surrounded by people who will accept and cherish this about us.

🙂

-Ash